Saturday, July 2, 2016

Love, can always wait.

Assalamualaikum.

Being 25 years old and graduated has its own perks-- people generally assume someone with that age is unquestionably ready for marriage. How do you define ready? Must be by us having potential husband that we've known for quite some time, or even mentally and knowledge-wise ready. Unfortunately, this lady right here does not fit to any of the mentioned criterias. People around me are moving on with their lives. Most of my close friends already tied their knots to that special someone and honestly, I am happy for them.

You would think that you will only be happy if the occasion happens to you but I beg to differ. When my habebty Ain Syafiqah got married during our 3rd year of medical school, I was (and still am) happy for her. When my Chopsy girls, Rabiatul and Syafa got hitched earlier this year, I was happy for them. And when my same-age cousin got married last May, I were excited as much as she was. Their time has come, and I could not be more happier.

I pray that I could care less when the matter of marriage is being brought up. However, when you are at THAT age when people around you are building their own lives and making babies, you kind of feel being left out. I am thankful that none of my aunties or uncles have ever question me when will be my time to sail. That question never helps as it does not offer any solution. Am I right or am I right?

This happened a couple of months back.

Mummy's friend: Yang ni bila lagi? *asking my mum, while referring to me*
Me: Tak ada orang lagi aunty, doa kan lah :)
Mummy's friend: Aik? Belajar kat sana 6 tahun pun tak jumpa sesiapa? 

She seemed shock. I was able to maintain my smile and composure, thankfully. I wouldn't want her to see how uncomfortable I was with her subsequent remarks.

Honestly, I was never that kind of girl who would answer the question of "Awak bila lagi?" with a sarcasm. I am not easily bothered by such trivial question anyways. That would be petty of me. Some people ask because they really care for you, while some... are just being nosy and trying to look for things to talk about. I would usually brush off with "InshaAllah, doa kan lah." because you really do not know if any of their prayers will be answered by Allah. Mana tau tetiba terbuka pintu langit, Allah makbulkan doa diorang. Wouldn't that be an icing on the cake?

Adab dan budi bahasa towards others (especially the elderly) will always trump your agitated demeanor.

Although I cannot lie that I am not pricked by such remarks made by that aunty, thus wondering if is it my fault that I could not find anybody who wants to be married to me throughout my university years. Some of my friends are lucky enough to find their destined partner among our batch-mates (even seniors) along the way. I met a few potential people, but if things do not went as planned, who am I to question?

Right now, I just wanted to believe that I have not met The Guy just yet. The one who I am willing to sacrifice my 'me' time and my life plan altogether. To put it nicely, I simply refused to waste my time by meeting new people and getting to know them from the point A. Too much hassle and knowing myself, emotional investment is something that I could not afford anymore. I am too exhausted to put efforts (again and again) and adding new dramas into my life.

I believe that there is more to life than finding your true love.
Love, can always wait.
When you are at my age, you'll learn to prioritize.

My plan from now onward is that, A) To re-establish my connection with Allah-- because lets face it. He holds our hearts, B) Be an awesome HO while painting rainbows also keeping myself fit, C) To care less about all these spouse and marital subjects, D) Spending as much time as possible with my parents and siblings, and E) To always, be happy and content with what Allah has decreed for me.

Pray for me, will you?

Love, N
x

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Kalau kita nak sangat kahwin tapi keadaan tak mengizinkan pun, agak kecewa jugak bila ditanya soalan macam ni :(