Thursday, June 30, 2016

A New Beginning

Assalamualaikum.

I had to put the UK series on hold to make way for this entry. There is actually a lot of things I want to write about and honestly, I wish I hadn't stop blogging for the past years because now, I would like to see how much I grew during my university years. It could be blamed on the lack of efforts and time management, or simply too much laziness.

While I don't quite disagree, the real reason why I decided to stop blogging all over is because as I grow older, writing about anything that comes to mind feels rather unnecessary and risky. This might sounds biased to some as I rant a lot on Twitter. That's it. Maybe it is more safe to say that I found another platform for me to rant with less words involve. Although I am also no longer at that point of life where I can openly express myself and not expect any consequences.

Thus, I'll take this current effort of mine as a new beginning. 새로운 시작!

Being 25 years old and fresh out of university... I admit that I am more vulnerable now than ever. As I read tons of my previous posts, I wonder to myself if I will ever be able to write such quality content again. Will I ever be the same? I matured, throughout the years, sure, but I am curious to know how my current state of mind, my perspective, the way I think, the way I perceive, will affect my writing. I am now, more comfortable writing in English than in Bahasa although I can assure you that my spoken and written Bahasa are still up to par. Sastera is still my forte. It's just that I am more comfortable arranging my thoughts in English.

As my result of SPA interview has come out, and alhamdulillah, I passed (so are my batchmates)-- the reality is creeping its way in. If I ever received the appointing letter some time after Eid, I will have to report my duty as a House Officer (junior doctor in training) around middle of August. Which is terrifying! Today is already 30th of June!

What am I going to do with my life? Am I prepared to be a competent doctor? Frankly, I've asked that question to myself since my clinical years. Alhamdulillah those thoughts didn't lead me to give up on my medicine course. I could not imagine myself being anything else other than a doctor. Cheesy, that I know. I hope when things get rough later on during my housemanship, I will always be remembered by this reason.

I am strong enough, I am capable to handle all the stressful environment and heavy workloads. It is also not impossible to enjoy my work and be a happy HO! That's the dream. Being happy while being a doctor.

I can do all that and I will!
One other note, have I reached quarter of life crisis?

Love, N
x

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