Sunday, August 19, 2012

Sirrullah. (rahsia Allah in arabic)

When was the last time you let your eyes (which is a ni'mah bestowed upon you by Allah) to cry helplessly in the act of sujud?

Malam ini, biar menjadi rahsia,
sang pendosa ini bertemu Tuhannya.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Minal aidin wa faizin.

...dan entah kenapa waktu nak susun biskut-biskut raya ke dalam balang tadi, hati ni menjadi walang. Bibir tanpa sedar dah mencebik, air mata mengacah untuk mengalir. Untuk pertama kali, aku sedih bila tahu Ramadhan dah nak pergi.

I know I'm going to miss Ramadhan when it's gone, but I feel like I'm not making the most of it. -KhadimulQuran.

Rasa sebak ini, rasa lemas ini, rasa sesak ini, harus aku nukilkan bagaimana--
Seolah sang kekasih bakal pergi meninggalkan,
dan sang pencinta tidak ikhlas ini,
tidak tahu apa Tuhan akan benarkan mereka untuk ketemu lagi.

Mungkinkah?

Allahu Allah, ya muqallibal qulub...
Tsabbit quluby 'ala deenyk.
Wahai pembolak balik hati, tetapkanlah hatiku pada agama-Mu.

Semoga. :')
Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum, minal aidin wa faizin.

Ps; I don't think I deserve to celebrate the Eid this time around. You, young lady, has no right, no right at all.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Brokenhearted Malaysians?

Tons of Malaysians' hearts were broken tonight, I believe. Seeing for the 21st time, Lin Dan defeated Datuk Lee Chong Wei. My heart goes to you, Datuk. You did a job well done, you rise above all else, but it was fated that the gold medal belongs to Lin Dan.

I wonder if Datuk could even sleep tonight, agonizing about his lost. I'm worried, truthfully, wondering if he could compose himself after the epic final match. If I was at his place, perhaps, I already cried my heart out in despair.

How to mend your broken heart?
(Dedicated to all Malaysians who had their hearts broken tonight)

Perhaps..., remind yourself how Datuk Lee Chong Wei made his way this far. His qualification to the Olympics was questionable since he is still in rehabilitation for his previous injuries. On top of that, he was burdened with the news of his father's health. And yet, he still made it to the finals.

Secondly, perhaps you ought to look back on the reasons why Allah Taala didn't let Malaysia to win her first ever gold medal tonight. There are blessings in disguise in everything that happened, there are reasons as to why it was fated that we can't grasp that gold medal just yet.

How many of Malaysians didn't went to perform Solatul Tarawikh just so you could watch that final match between Datuk and Lin Dan?
(I am not an exception for that matter, and this is not something I'm proud of)

Allah Taala lebih tahu kalau sesuatu tu memudaratkan. Tak ke?

Might be if Datuk did win the match tonight, some of Malaysians would be delighted as they didn't went to perform Salatul Tarawikh, as they were witnessing history was being made. And some Malaysians might just regret going to the mosque for that matter.

Allah knows. Indeed He knows best.

You can cry, sure. Cry in your solah and ask to Allah that may He mend all the Malaysians' broken hearts (perhaps Datuk Lee Chong Wei's too!) and may He granted us victory in other matter for that. Ameen, ya Rabb.

You are still a national Hero, Datuk!
Don't be sad as we are always with you.

x

Kau pernah tak?

I

"Pernah tak bila kau buat dosa lepas tu kau menggigil takut murkanya Tuhan tengah menanti? Takut Tuhan takkan bagi kau peluang untuk dekat dengan Dia lagi? Sebab kau tahu dosa dan kebaikan macam air dan minyak yang takkan pernah boleh bersatu sampai mati.

Pernah tak?"

II

"Pernah tak bila kau dah jauh sangat dengan Tuhan, kisah-kisah mereka yang kembali pada Tuhan, kembali pada fitrah yang sukakan kebaikan, buat kau rasa nak menangis sesungai dua, kenapa kau tak sekuat diorang untuk ikut pulang pada Dia?

Pernah tak?"

III

"Pernah tak rasa sakit bila kau dah sayang seorang lelaki separuh nyawa, dan takdir Dia, kau mula kenal Tuhan, lalu kau tinggalkan dia demi Dia yang Lebih Kuasa? Sebab kau tahu hati cuma ada satu, dan takhtanya tak boleh terbahagi dua.

Pernah tak?"

IV

"Pernah tak kau jatuh, bangun, jatuh, bangun berulang kali, lalu satu masa kau biarkan diri jatuh terlalu lama dan hilang arah, sampai terlupa kau perlu bangun? Sebab kau rasa penat untuk mulakan segalanya dari A, sebab kau rasa kalau kau bangun balik pun kau bakal jatuh lagi?

Pernah tak?"
___________________________________________________________________

How can you love when you are afraid to fall? How can you prove to Allah that you are in love with Him, if you have not been tested with difficulties to hold on onto Him?

Reminder to self through and through and I basically rambles regarding anything that I had on my mind while waiting for Sahur.

O Allah! May You strengthen the imaan of everyone who read these writings of mine. I didn't know their problems, You do. So may You indulge them with Your blessings, with joy, perseverance, Sabr, and may they be the chosen ones to be bestowed Jannatul Firdaus upon them.

Ameen, inshaAllah.
x

Kupu Kupu.

Butterfly, terbanglah tinggi...
Setinggi anganku untuk meraihMu.

Bukan susah nak buat jahat, dan bukan senang nak jadi baik. So sometimes I wonder, why won't we give ourselves a chance to be a better person?

Rasa hipokrit? Rasanya macam lebih baik rasa hipokrit dari bakal rasa azab Tuhan di akhirat. Jahat orang tak suka, kadang-kadang baik sangat pun orang tak suka tapi lebih baik jadi baik sebab at least Allah suka. Bukan ke? Kita berusaha jadi baik bukan sebab iman kita kuat, tapi kita berusaha jadi baik untuk kuatkan iman kita. Tak ke?

Rasanya sejak kebelakangan ni macam I always get what I asked for, in terms of something that I don't feel obligate to mention here. Every single thing without fail until the moment when I don't get it, I feel like my whole world going to shatter into pieces.

Unlikely.

There's definitely something wrong me with me, I thought. So I ponder upon myself (did a self-reflection throughout the night and day) and yeah... I figured something out.

Kenapa aku terlupa yang semua dalam dunia ni adalah rezeki dari Allah? Macam ada sebab kenapa bila kau pergi Bazaar Ramadhan tu kau berhenti kat satu gerai dan beli makanan dari dia even though lepas tu bila berbuka rasa makanan dia tak seberapa. Itu rezeki penjual tu yang Allah sampaikan daripada kita. Ada sebab kenapa kita pembeli ni kadang-kadang kena tipu dengan penjual. Itu rezeki dia.

You wouldn't know what kind of deeds they have been doing in their life, mungkin semalam dia solat sunat terlebih rakaat mohon hajat rezeki lebih esok hari, dan kau takkan tahu Allah tengah makbulkan doa dia yang mana satu. Bukan ke?

Okay terlajak pasal pembeli penjual segala padahal point kat sini cuma nak kata yang Allah tahu dah banyak sangat Dia bagi apa yang aku nak so that day, He put a full stop. Sebenarnya bukan full stop pun sebab I did manage to have one, yang aku rasa macam tak berkenan, tapi itu jugaklah yang Allah bagi just because He knew that I NEED THAT.

Aku toleh almari dan Subhanallah! Memang Allah kasi apa yang perlu pun :')

Entahlah, kita manusia ni senang dibuai dengan dunia, senang terlupa apa yang utama, senang tersungkur pada yang tak ada apanya. Aku memang takde tiket untuk terkecuali dalam hal ni, sebab macam kalian, aku pun pegang status pendosa. Everyday is still a struggle for me, and without doubt, I tend to commit sins, Astarghfirullah.

We are sinners, aren't we? We might not sin for the same exact reason, so don't go mocking people around just because they sin differently.

Kita,
di mata Tuhan,
tetap sama,
tanpa ada bezanya.

15 Ramadhans had passed. What have you been doing, folks?
Allahumma balighna ya Lailatul Qadar.
:)

x