To be productive, per se.
Which indicates that by all means, I'll look for something to learn in other places (departments) instead of sticking to one and be discourage by the fact that I'm not doing anything there.
Following the ward round at 8am in the morning was the hardest thing for me to do. Not for the reasons I need to be early in the hospital (I arrived at the hospital around 7.15am so I don't really have any problem with the timing), but the thing is, I'm kinda feel awkward standing in the corner, following all the doctors around.
I can feel that I'm being a 'kera sumbang' at those times. And believe me when I say that I have to learn to walk with... fast speed. If I don't, I'll be losing their traces in a blink of the eyes. No joke. Berjalan laju macam tak cukup tanah hospital tu aku kerjakan.
One of the most valuable lessons I learnt is that, to never be a snobbish doctor! I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive but some Malay doctors in the hospital are just plain... snob. Glancing you across their eyes, and some won't look at you right in the eyes. Not even when putting up a smile. -_-"
*I emphasized on the word "some" as not every Malay doctors behave like that. I encountered quite a number of lovely Malay doctors as well.
I talked about that to my dad, and I told him that I won't let myself treating my patients and junior doctors like that in the future, inshaAllah. Surprisingly, those doctors who were very helpful and care to talk to me also teach a thing or two would be Chinese, Indian and foreigner doctors.
How ironic is that?
The first three days of my posting, I reflect upon why I choose medicine as a career. Upon why, why on earth I made it compulsory for myself to do an elective posting when I can just enjoying my 3 months of summer holidays (you'll be amazed by the number of doctors who asked me to just stay at home and don't bother exhausting myself to come to the hospital).
That's the first time in three years I ever thought of that in such... err, negative way.
Fret not, I came to my senses pretty soon after that. :)
Thanks to my dad.
He said: "Why did you decide to do the posting? Because most of your friends are doing it?" and I shook my head as an answer. Then my dad said: "Because you wanted experiences? If that so, being neglected, feeling awkward, having those kind of emotions are also experience, yes?"
That's when I smiled in my head, thinking 'Yes, those are all priceless experiences'.
I have two weeks remaining in the hospital and I aimed to brush up my history-taking skills. I took a few yesterday but just as I step away from their bed, I felt that I am still very much lacking in such skill :( I failed to ask quite a number important questions that are crucial in diagnosing.
In two weeks time, inshaAllah, I'll be fluent in asking hihi.
To those friendly 'abang-abang' senior who are in their final year, thank you for welcoming me in joining your tutorial sessions and ward rounds, especially when you said: "Puan, ini junior saya tapi dia belajar di Mesir." to one of the patients :') I felt blessed to have you guys around when I'm being surrounded by serious-looking HOs, MOs, and Consultants.
I pray for your success and I would love to be working in the same hospital with you guys in the future, inshaAllah! ^^
Ps; Off to study for next week~