Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Hello, Jantung!

Bismillah~

"
Hello Jantung, untuk dan kerana siapa degupanmu?"

A question that can't be answered for you. Tepuk dada, tanya hati sendiri. This was asked by a sister, whom no longer here-- she has passed away at such a young age. Al-Fatihah, kak. May you'll be among the believers in the Hereafter.
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You know how people tend to have fights and verbal arguments? How people kinda love being tangled up in misunderstanding and being judgmental? How people would kill to talk about others or being in the center stage?

Kesian.
Dengan kita semua, yang jadi 'hamba' pada perasaan sendiri.
Saya tak terkecuali.

I wish to be emotionally intelligent. The fact that the person ain't at fault (although she might be or might not), but for you to actually allowed those feelings to overtake your mind, to affect you, now that's your flaw. You allowed the feelings of annoyance to get through you and being bothered by it.

It's your loss, wasting time and emotions on it.
By that, let's manage our emotions mannerly, shall we? :]

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Kalau lelaki yang awak suka sedang menjaga, what are the reasons for you not to?

Not being able to meet each other in the eyes is hurtful enough, and now I won't be able to even listen to his voice on the phone? Or chatting up with him on Facebook? That's absurd!

Err, is that what you have in mind?
Awak takkan cakap macam tu,
kalau awak betul sayangkan dia,
dan impikan redha dan syurga-Nya :)

Awak tahu ke, that feeling of satisfaction (and wanted to cry, BADLY), bila awak betul betul menjaga, supaya bila sampai masa, lelaki yang awak suka tu akan datang melamar awak jadi surinya?

I ain't saying that the process gonna be all flowery.

Nak mujahadah perasaan paling sakit, okay? I spoke on behalf of experienced. Kalau dia yang lelaki tengah berusaha untuk menjaga, awak tak ada effort ke untuk ikut sama? Jaga diri dari jadi fitnah, jaga hati walaupun degupan punya kencang untuk dia.

All that for the sake of Allah.
Awak tak nak berusaha?
Distance won't stop love.
Distance make it grows and glows forever.
Dengan izin-Nya.

Err, awak, tahniah untuk... kita? Errrrrrr. Terima kasih sebab menjaga.
Terima kasih. Err, terima kasih. Awkward sangat dah ni.
Jujurnya tak sangka awak sekuat tu, *senyum paling manis walaupun awak takkan pernah nampak*

Moga kita dalam redha-Nya :]

Sunday, March 18, 2012

3 Things to be improved by me.

Bismillah.

Awkward. *long pause* It has been such, such, such a long time since I last wrote something. Ac-tu-ally writing. I am trying hard here, to not complaining about everything that happened in my life. Siapa kita untuk merungut, kalau itu yang dah Allah Taala tetapkan?

Dia kenal kita luar dalam, Dia tahu apa yang kita perlukan, Dia tahu kemampuan kita. :)

Ps; Empat perkara yang Allah dah tetapkan untuk kita sejak di alam roh: 1. Rezeki 2. Amal 3. Ajal 4. Kebahagiaan dan kecelakaan.

Things to be improved #1: Quit complaining, stop sighing.

Ada sebab kenapa Allah letakkan kita di jalan tu, dalam situasi itu, dengan orang tu, menghadapai masalah tu. Hari-hari kita mintak dari Allah, pinjamkan kekuatan-Nya untuk kita berdepan dengan urusan seharian.

Do you expect for Allah to 'bzaaaab~' give you strength, out of no reasons, in an instance? Kekuatan tu takkan nampak berbaloi. Sebab tu Allah selitkan dengan masalah, dengan dilema, supaya kita dapat get through everything, overcome those obstacles like it was not our business.

There, lies between all those crap, there's your strength! :)

Allah boleh je bagi awak kuat, macam Allah boleh je bagi Palestin menang, Syria menang, tapi Allah nak tengok usaha kita. Apa yang kita dah buat untuk dapat sesuatu yang kita mintak dari Allah tu? Does our effort worth for Allah to give His ni'mah?

Things to be improved #2: Be a full time Muslim.

Adakah kita cuma Muslim bila kita pergi usrah je? Dalam tempoh masa tiga jam tu je? Adakah kita Muslim bila kita dengar ceramah je? Bila awak tengah jalan, berborak dengan kawan-kawan, benda yang awak borakkan tu cerminkan awak Muslim ke? Bila awak dalam bilik sorang sorang tu, buat benda pelik, awak Muslim ke? Bila awak tengah makan, awak Muslim ke?

A definite headshot.

Bila teringat diri sendiri, rasa sedih macam "Ha ah, I am not yet a full time Muslim." There was a long pause when my kakak naqibah poured out those questions.

Rasa malu bila teringat benda-benda yang aku pernah borakkan semata-mata supaya tak ada 'awkward moment' dengan orang yang baru kenal. I tend to be that kind of person, the one who would blabbed about everything I can think of whenever I stumbled upon an awkward moment of silence.

I have to take this into account. Kena berubah! Remain silence is the best option, sebab kita terkadang akan terlepas cakap :(

Terfikir, benda-benda yang aku borakkan, menambahkan iman ke? Benda-benda yang aku 'like' di Facebook tu, menambahkan iman ke? Dengar orang bergosip, orang merungut, menambahkan iman ke?

Bak kata Ustazah Ros, benda yang tak bermanfaat, tak payah buat. Tak menambahkan iman pun.

Things to be improved #3: Mind your ikhtilat in the cyber world.

Kalau luar je jaga ikhtilat tapi dalam Facebook tak jaga, awak rasa awak Muslim ke? *ducking my head*

Quoted from Ustazah Ros during our daurah for 'Ikhtilat dan BM': "Di mana maruah kita sebagai seorang perempuan Muslim, bila tanpa segan kita bergurau dengan lelaki walaupun cuma di Facebook?"

"Tak perlu nak 'like' status lelaki di Facebook tu. Tak menambahkan iman pun kalau kita 'like'. Kalau status dia kita rasa menambahkan iman, alhamdulillah, ambil ibrah, muhasabah diri, cukup sekadar tu. Tak perlu nak terbitkan rasa yang tidak-tidak pada lelaki tu. Kita tak tahu hati orang macam mana."

Okay, yang ini terkesan, terbukak minda bila dengar. Terus reflek diri sendiri. Betul, hati orang kita tak tahu.

Ps; Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal ya Allah :')