Sunday, June 10, 2012

being ridiculous at some point.

I have a dream, a song to sing, to cope with anything
If you see the wonder of the fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail~

If that lyrics were even right. Scratch that. I just google-d the lyrics and yes, they can never be accurate as they are. Yaaay to my never fading memories to old school songs *dancing happily in my mind*. Needless to say (I figured that). It has been a pretty odd week (if not, weeks, since I came back from Egypt) for me.

Odd, and full of desires and thoughts.

What kind of desires? Worldly. I won't go into details but people who has been following me on twitter and Instagram should know what I'm talking about. One after another. Sighs.

I blame all these desires to the stress I had to put up during last final examinations. Yes, I had to blame all the desires I wanted for the past few weeks on something to lessen my guilty. -_-' Judge me all you want but keep the verdicts to yourself.

I know myself better than anyone. At least I think I do. :D

Alhamdullillah, I know I am blessed to live as my current self, to have a great life, a superb family (including my extended ones, and I'm utterly thankful to Allah Taala for that) to begin with, to have an amazing circle of friends, to have medicine as my future career and some may think that it is outrageous and ridiculous that I wish for something more.

But I just do.

It does sounds like a selfish and greedy request, but trust me when I say it isn't. For reasons that I don't feel obligate to mention here. And some people are giving comments like;

"You already have everything."

"What else do you want?"

These remarks makes it seem like I'm not grateful with what I already have, when I do. I am grateful. If only and only if I can put everything into words for these kind of people to understand...

I've done something proactive today by doing a spring cleaning to my room with Kak Cindy; our lovely maid. Seriously, if not for Kak Cindy's presence, I don't think I can ever cleaning up my room like I did just now, not when you have a number of cockroaches in your room.

That's what happen when you only came back to Malaysia for two to three months a year (such a bliss, I know). And to think that I slept in that room for the past two weeks is... horrifying. I had goosebumps all over me.

I thanked my dad that he's super generous in helping me to drill the wall for me to put up a somewhat-a-hanger-like thing-y (I seriously can't figure out the words right now, pardon me) so that I can hang my clothes! My wardrobe is beyond full right now and I need my mum to come home fast so that we can go to Ikea to buy a new drawer!