Friday, May 4, 2012

Despite everything, she just laughs and I'm proud of her.

Bismillah~


Bila dalam waktu waktu kecemasan dan saya perlu ada di meja study 24/7 macam sekarang ni, saya perasan yang memang Allah akan hadiahkan ujian-ujian kecil yang mengusik emosi. Benda-benda yang selama ni kita tak perasan pun benda tu satu masalah, tapi bila dalam time crisis ni, mata dan hati macam pakai magnifying glass.


Semester 3 ujiannya paling menduga jiwa, semester 4 macam nak rabak hati saya, semester kali ni... subhanallah. Rasanya kalau tak kerana saya percaya pada ketentuan Allah Taala, tak mungkin saya boleh tidur nyenyak malam tadi dan bangun pagi dengan senang hati.


Allahuakbar.
Istifargh, banyak kali.


This obstacle I'm facing right now, is something that I never encounter before so I'm slightly worried for what will be the solutions and how I'm gonna live through this current state. Silap teknik tarik rambut, tepung boleh berserak keluar dari pinggan. If you know what I mean.


I know that beneath all these craps, I will find a diamond in disguise. Allah will not tested me with this, if He hadn't known that I will overcome this, no? This too, shall pass, as always. And I'm going to look back years from now, thinking Subhanallah, how did I passed that?


And the answer of course would be with Allah's mercy and blessings, :')


I seriously don't want to let myself to worry more than I should at the moment. Things will fall into its place. I want to believe in that. InshaAllah, inshaAllah.


___________________________________________________________________


Looking back, my old-self would be in furious state by now, and storm into everyone or everything that was on her way. She wouldn't care whose feelings she was going to hurt so that she herself would be pleased and contented. Ergh. I know, so save yourself from saying that.


At the moment, instead of cursing and complaining, she just laughs to everything despite the bitterness. Despite the heartache she's going through. Despite the fact that her tears are going to jerk.


And I'm proud of her now.
She has evolved to humans and install humanity into her traits!
Yaay her!


:)
X