Thursday, May 24, 2012

a smile would do.

What more can be happier than the fact that I'm done with my 3rd year in med school? All praises go to Allah Taala for He let miracles to happen, each and every day, mashaAllah!

Balik ke rumah dari habis kertas terakhir semalam, bukak Fesbuk dan disajikan dengan berita gembira. Sahabat se-batch saya, bakal menikah Julai nanti Subhanallah, mabruk alaikum untuk awak dan bakal suami~ Aaaah, I knew something was going on when we have our flight back to Malaysia last winter break ;D


Few of my beautiful ladies and readers, asked me recently, on why I seems to be less creating words for eyes to see, read and heed. I hereby sincerely apologized for lacking in time management, not that I wanted to but hey..., I don't have any excuses do I? I figured that much.

*sujud syukur*
I received an offer letter in my email just now, regarding an attachment to be done in University Malaya Medical Centre, Subhanallah! Terus guling-guling sebelah housemates bila dapat email tu. I am so over the moon! :D Well, you know, I'll be going for my clinical years in September so I make it compulsory for myself to go for an attachment before I indulge myself in clinical years here in Egypt. :)

It's up to you, really, to make a decision whether you wanted an early experience in the Malaysia hospitals or not. Your career and life are at stake. After your 6 years abroad in foreign medical schools, you'll served the hospitals in Malaysia nonetheless. So I figured that it would be helpful if I do an attachment so that I can get used to Malaysia's hospital environment.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah!


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Just plain weird.

This whole semester is weird.

Like weird, weird. Maybe unique at some levels, but I am going for weird. I am weird too, for many reasons. At least I think and feel so. The words I'm typing don't seems to make any sense do they? Oh well, I am not trying to emphasize on anything at the moment.

*breathe in, breathe out*

Thanks to Allah for so many reasons, but if you wanted me to be specific, I shall say "Thank You, Allah for letting me passes each day with being able to still, embraces Islam as my Deen and having Iman in my heart. Thank You, Allah for you let each day passes beautifully that I'm done with two of my final papers and one more to go :')"

With that, I'm left with 5 more days till I can have my family back in my arms again. Aaaaaah my heart is in such an agony state that I think I would beat any 1st year students' homesickness >.<

What's with this weird feelings I'm having?
Entah, sampai bila.
O Allah! I seek for Your mercy.

Ps; To that particular someone, Happy 21st Birthday. I am not sorry or regret in any form for not being able to say that to your face anymore. Allah knows best for what He had in store for both of us. With that, may Allah guides our heart to be a better servant of His and may you strive hard for His jannah as that is what I am hoping you would do.

Stay happy, be healthy, and never let your mum down ever again.


Sunday, May 6, 2012

Self post-mortem.


When you've started to make a movement, a step up from your current self, it does feel different ey?

Been takleef to conduct an usrah by my kakak naqibah, and it has been months since I carried out that responsibilities. Truth to be told, it was awkward at first, but we learnt, taking baby steps.

Subhanallah, how can I list His uncountable mercy towards me along the journey?

I am thankful for being able to have such mad'u, :') F, H, and the newbies whom just recently joined our usrah; T, O, M, you guys inspired me in so many ways on so many levels, masyaAllah! And I bet we have so many things to learn from each other from now on, inshaAllah.

I can never thank Allah enough for everything even if I have 1000 souls within me. Obviously not exaggerating. Heh.

You've read that emotional post of mine below? Err, I am hereby conveying my deepest apologies to have your eyes to read such post, huuuuuh.

'Everything in this world shall pass' said a very good friend of mine.

I thank Allah for sending both of my sahabat fillah when I needed support the most :') Hah, how can I EVER list His mercy and love towards me now? Allahuakbar. He is indeed the Most Gracious.

And can you believe that I've passed them? That obstacles I'm blabbering about? Can you believe it? I can pinch all parts of my skin and still, would not believe that it has been solved, in a nick of time.


You wanted strength? You wanted to be able to control your anger? You wanted to be a full-time muslim? You wanted to improve your akhlak?

Allah tested you for such purposes, to ACTUALLY answer your prayers.

He gave you something to be angry about, something to solve, so that you'll learn how to manage your anger and confront your problems. I've said that this shall pass, and they did. They passed. I passed them.

Aaaaah, how can I not believe in Him now? :')

O Allah! I am Your sinful slave, and You are my Loving Lord.


Friday, May 4, 2012

Despite everything, she just laughs and I'm proud of her.


Bila dalam waktu waktu kecemasan dan saya perlu ada di meja study 24/7 macam sekarang ni, saya perasan yang memang Allah akan hadiahkan ujian-ujian kecil yang mengusik emosi. Benda-benda yang selama ni kita tak perasan pun benda tu satu masalah, tapi bila dalam time crisis ni, mata dan hati macam pakai magnifying glass.

Semester 3 ujiannya paling menduga jiwa, semester 4 macam nak rabak hati saya, semester kali ni... subhanallah. Rasanya kalau tak kerana saya percaya pada ketentuan Allah Taala, tak mungkin saya boleh tidur nyenyak malam tadi dan bangun pagi dengan senang hati.

Istifargh, banyak kali.

This obstacle I'm facing right now, is something that I never encounter before so I'm slightly worried for what will be the solutions and how I'm gonna live through this current state. Silap teknik tarik rambut, tepung boleh berserak keluar dari pinggan. If you know what I mean.

I know that beneath all these craps, I will find a diamond in disguise. Allah will not tested me with this, if He hadn't known that I will overcome this, no? This too, shall pass, as always. And I'm going to look back years from now, thinking Subhanallah, how did I passed that?

And the answer of course would be with Allah's mercy and blessings, :')

I seriously don't want to let myself to worry more than I should at the moment. Things will fall into its place. I want to believe in that. InshaAllah, inshaAllah.


Looking back, my old-self would be in furious state by now, and storm into everyone or everything that was on her way. She wouldn't care whose feelings she was going to hurt so that she herself would be pleased and contented. Ergh. I know, so save yourself from saying that.

At the moment, instead of cursing and complaining, she just laughs to everything despite the bitterness. Despite the heartache she's going through. Despite the fact that her tears are going to jerk.

And I'm proud of her now.
She has evolved to humans and install humanity into her traits!
Yaay her!