Friday, April 27, 2012

Midnight Rants #3


Memang makin dekat waktu untuk study leave, semangat nak menulis macam ombak laut yang hanya terus pasang tanpa punya surut. Err, saya kira ini ujian yang Allah bagi; tapi terselit nikmat. Boleh menulis (punya sesuatu untuk ditulis) dan mampu mengubah rasa menjadi kata tu satu nikmat. Untuk saya. *sengih*

Saya biasanya ke kelas sendirian, lebih suka jalan sendiri, tanpa perlu biar orang menunggu saya, tanpa perlu saya menunggu sesiapa. Senang, bila tak terikat. I kinda appreciate my 'me time' along the journey I had to take to get to my faculty.

Like you know, I would talk to myself (call me crazy, weird, forever alone and you think this face cares? heh), reminding myself on certain things regarding life, to not do this, to focus on that, to improve on this and that, and yadda yadda. I love to look at the world in a different angle, from a different typical perspective. And believe me that short 15 minutes walk can give myself a huge favor on creating motivations.

Offer me 1 million and see for yourself that I'd rather walk.

*Sadly, it's already Summer here (not that I'm being ungrateful for such weather, oh my Allah NO!) so I don't really get a chance to take a proper walk now, and I have been taking taxi too much lately. Throwing my precious LE2 every single day. Oh well.

I'm thinking of... deactivating my Facebook for awhile. I figured that I need to make that move. Not right now of course, since I still have classes until Sunday, need to download all the notes and lecture slides to study. And there's going to be a poster presentation in front of the Dean of Faculty of Medicine on 2nd of May. I still need to keep in touch with fellow PBL-mates regarding that matter.

Emmm? Maybe some time after that. You might think 'HA-HA-HA This girl is so funny that she's full of excuses and will never really deactivate her account'. It's nothing like that, really. Because I am seriously considering the fact that I need to have some time off from the internet and REALLY focusing on studies like I used to.

Way before Facebook and Twitter were invented. That's how serious I can be, if you figured much. Life without accounts on internet used to be peaceful, and I am determined to get such life back. Only if He wills me to, of course. :)

I'm off to bed now, a long day of Jumaah ahead of me tomorrow! Salam, x.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Midnight Rants. #2


11.44 malam dan inshaAllah saya bakal beradu kejap lagi. Dah patut ke katil dah ni, tapi tiba-tiba teringin nak menulis. B, please bear with me please? Err, macam dah lama tak panggil nama blog ni :) B as in Bieyto. Dah lama tak treat awak as my personal diary~ 

This Semester 6 and my 3rd year of med school is almost to the end. Sikiiiit lagi habis Case 10 ni, we'll present our poster, and then we're off to 3 weeks of study leave and FINALS are saying 'Hello, peek-a-boo!' at its best. Heh. Time flies too fast that I can't even manage to take a sip of my Neslo! Okay, exaggerate -_- 

Excuse me. 

Alhamdulillah, I'm done re-arranging my furniture in the room, seeking for a better mood to face the finals (I'm quite good in interior designing, kehkehkeh), I'm done organizing my notes according to the cases, I'm done managing my moods and spirits to have an encounter with the finals (inshaAllah) so yeah, BRING IT ON, FINALS! :D 

Mind you that I still have to seek Allah's blessings in using time so that I don't easily be out of focus and wasting time on something isn't beneficial. Teenager is Shaytan's lunch, no? And when Shaytan can't make you do ma'siat, he'll make you waste your time. 

Huuuu. And if there comes to you from Satan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing. [Al-Fussilat:36] 

Allah tu yang Paling Manis sekali kan? :') 

What university's life has done to me that I've lost my passion towards writing, coloring, drawing...? 
That is a question for me to answer so don't bother~ 

Haritu tengok sikit drama Tentang Dhia lakonan Nora Danish dengan Adi Putra. Err, okaaay, it was one the best drama that portrays Islamic values, mashaAllah! Awal-awal scene nak perkenalkan watak Adi Putra as Ahmad Zikir tu dia dah tunjuk Zikir bangun solat Tahajud 3 to 4 times a week :')

Seriously, I could feel my heart beats faster than it usually does. 

Entah, rasa macam if I ever destined to have a spouse in my life, I pray that he'd be like Ahmad Zikir, struggling to be a better Muslim before he is married to me. :) Together, we strive, to be a better servant of His, before He let us meet and complete each other. 

Err, I am such a sweet-talker am I? -_-" 

Anyways, sebelum mencari, kita kena menjadi. :) Sebelum kita nakkan suami soleh, isteri solehah, kita PERLU jadi lelaki soleh, perempuan solehah. Tak adil lah untuk lelaki tu kalau kita nak dia sebab dia beriman sempurna Islamnya tapi kita sememeh je usaha untuk jadi gadis yang lebih baik. Kan? 

Oh my Allah, dah 12.16 pagi. Mintak diri dulu, karang saya terlajak Subuh (kat sini Allah uji Subuh kami 3.50 pagi hihi)~ 

Assalamualaikum, x

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.


Have you ever think of life as an hourglass, which has been glued to the table? Once those sands have been dropped to the base, there's nothing you can do to stop them, or turn the hourglass again, since it has been glued to the table, remember?

Macam kita.
How many of us, actually, have always been dwelling in the past?
Sedangkan kita hidup, bernafas ni, at the exact moment.

Untuk kita kita (ye, kita. Termasuk saya) yang kadangkala masih terkenangkan manisnya zaman Jahiliyah, zaman masih belum kenal sepenuhnya siapa Tuhan... berhenti lah. Stop thinking about those yes-I-admit-they-was-fun-and-we-had-a-once-in-a-lifetime-memory moments, just, please, stop!

Mohon diri sendiri tak perlu menyesal memilih jalan menuju Tuhan ni.
Sampai bila...? Sampai bila kita nak kalah dengan kenangan sendiri?

When Shaytan made us think of our pasts, we should remind him regarding his future. In torment and Hell-fire.

'How', you would ask.
'Istiqamah, dengan ibadah, dengan buat benda baik', I would answer.

Tapi tahu je bukan senang nak istiqamah, unfortunately. Bukan awak boleh sentiasa menang lawan nafsu, bukan sentiasa boleh iman kita tu di atas... Saya pun tak terkecuali. Iman tu sifatnya memang macamtu, menaik, menurun, ikut suka, tanpa rela. Tapi awak nak biar je?

Mestilah tak.

Sebab orang yang beriman tu, dia takkan biarkan dirinya lama-lama ada di bawah. Dia akan segera naik :)

Okay sebenarnya nak kata... jangan terlalu diingatkan sangat manisnya bercouple, terasa lawanya tak sempurna menutup aurat. You've went through too much to be at where you are right now to lose everything just because you were remembered by your pasts.

Saya mungkin hilang lelaki tu, hilang cinta kasih dia, tapi Allah gantikan saya dengan ukhuwah yang berganda lebih manisnya. :') Mereka yang ada keliling saya sekarang, ramainya tanpa boleh saya sebutkan nama satu per satu.

Err, dulu memang saya tak biasa dengan ukhuwah akhawat to akhawat, peluk, cium, manja manja, tapi alhamdulillah, adanya mereka tu hidup saya jadi lagi indah. Serius. Budak-budak seusrah saya sila kembang semuanya. Antunna memang penyeri hari saya :') Hik~


Tadi masa usrah, one of my anak usrah voice out about something regarding when we recorded our voice, we would sound... err strange. So we wonder to ourselves, 'Was my voice always this strange to be heard of?' and I replied, 'I can never see myself in a video, cause I don't think I'm fond with the fact that I would look and sound so pelikkk.' -__-"

Lepastu semua terdiam, like you know, kalau kat dunia pun kita tak suka tengok our recorded version of actions, (sesi temu ramah je pun, video kuliah termasuk muka suara sendiri je pun, things that are not even insolent to begin with)...

How on earth would you like yourself and your ma'siat in actions to be shown in front of Allah and all the human beings ever existed on the day of Resurrection? We was like 'aaaaaaaaaaaa!'


Istifargh, banyak banyak.