Saturday, November 26, 2011

taking things for granted.

Bismillah.

As a human, we must have that one phase, yang bila Allah timpakan ujian, kita jatuh dan terus biar diri berlama-lamaan ada di bawah. Apa nak jadi, jadi lah. For the first two days, Allah might ticked your heart out of guiltiness, but when you let that feeling passes you, buat dosa pun kadang-kadang kita boleh ketawa.

But at certain time, one certain circumstances, if you are lucky enough, He’ll ticked your heart again. As if He is saying, “That’s enough. Come back to me.” *sebak* That’s just how ar-Rahim Allah can be. He won’t let us going too far from Him.
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We are created for a purpose. To be a slave, a caliph, and to obey what Allah had laid for us.

Try to close your eyes for a minute and think. Think. Duduk beriman sekejap. How many times have we violated our purposes in this world? Just how many times? But did Allah instantly punishes you for that? For instance if you lied, did your tongue just fall off? If you steal, did your hand just fall off?

Allah let it slide. He let it slide. That’s how ar-Rahman Allah can be.
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But us being humans, we tend to take this side of "forgiving" in Allah for granted. Macam oh tak apa, aku buat dosa harini inshaAllah esok sempat bertaubat. Allah kan Maha Pemaaf dan Maha Pengasih? It's obviously a good thing to think that way to let us not being ashamed of seeking forgiveness from Him.

But there's a 'major BUT' here.

Saya rasa lah... kita, terlalu fikir Allah tu Maha Penyayang, sampai kita lupa. Kita lupa Allah akan marah. Kita lupa Dia akan marah. Kita lupa akan sampai satu hari, Allah melepaskan kemarahan Dia tanpa tertahan-tahan.

Dan hari tu, hari Kiamat.

x

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

To whom should I seek comfort to?

Bismillah.



I cried, although I thought I can simply overcome this and I cried regardless, despite the reason for the tears were not that solid. I know the decision has been made and it is for my best from their view but I can't help to feel saddened by the fact that I can't be a part of this.

And... unknowingly I cried to my sleep. Not that I wanted to, since I don't even feel slightest bit of protesting because I knew by not going, I am actually obeying their order and fullfilling Allah's command on me... but the tears kept coming.

"Ini yang terbaik," I chanted that throughout the night, seeking strength from Allah Taala.
"Sakitnya ujian ni ya Allah," I chanted that while biting my lips and tears rolling down my cheek.

I literally died a little inside.
"Ini yang terbaik untuk mencapai redha Allah, by not going." I chanted that again, and again.

"Kalau ini yang terbaik, yang kau aturkan dengan penuh cinta, lenyapkan rasa nak pergi tu ya Allah..." I prayed silently during my sujud and I cried, helplessly.

He knows best, He always do. And I believe that.
He's the creator of the land, sky and sea.
And He's the creator of you and me.
How can we ever compete with that?

P/s: I asked myself, to whom should I seek for comfort? And then I found As-Syura, verse 9.

Atau mereka mengambil pelindung-pelindung selian Dia? Padahal Allah, Dialah pelindung yang sebenarnya.

Friday, November 18, 2011

This too, shall pass.

Bismillah.

When a believer is suddenly affected with fever, his sins fall off like the leaves of a tree. If he laments in his bed, his lamentations are as Subhanallah (Glory be to Allah) and his cry is la ilaha illal lah (There is no God but Allah), his moving in bed is as if he is fighting for the cause of Allah. If he lives on and serves God, he will be forgiven. Happy is such a person!

Subhanallah! ♥

Saya tak ada lah sampai jatuh demam tapi mungkin sebab perubahan cuaca yang mendadak (tiba-tiba dah fully winter) so I'm currently down with tonsillitis. Perit jugaklah nak menelan makanan tapi inshaAllah okay je :D

Dugaan nak exam ni memang skala dia upgrade sikit. I noticed that for quite some time already. Masa tu lah sakit, masa tu lah ada problem dengan kawan, masa tu lah __________ pulak. Heeee~ Tapi alright je~ Allah wont give me such test if He thinks I can't face those obstacles. Kan?

Without me knowing, this too, shall pass ;)

P/s: Doakan saya pls?

x

Monday, November 14, 2011

judging by your looks,

Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum. Alhamdulillah, hari ni saya reward diri saya dengan beli tilam baru sebab tilam yang lama mama (baca: tuan rumah) sediakan, dah tak berapa nak elok untuk tulang belakang :) Reward sebab hari ni kelas dua jam straight saya boleh fokus (syukurLillah) walaupun lapar teramat.

Saya kira lapar tu nikmat mungkin, sebab otak tersalur lebih oksigen daripada untuk digestion.

:)

Menulis sebab tiba-tiba teringat usrah terakhir saya sebelum cuti Aidil Adha bermula hari tu. Kak Nisa' sentuh pasal kita semua, being too judgmental towards others. Dan saya suka bercakap pasal benda judging ni sebab kita semua buat kan? Dalam sedar atau tak. Terzahir atau tak.

Kita semua ada akal untuk berfikir, jadinya kita masing-masing ada persepsi sendiri.

Dia pakai tudung labuh, wah, kagum! Mesti baik budak ni.
Dia pakai tudung labuh tapi pemalas. Entah pape entah.
Dia pakai tudung tapi tak labuh ke dada, tak reti pakai tudung ke kak?
Orang nak masuk neraka je yang duk tayang rambut! Bila entah nak berubah!

Seriously people? Seriously? I am asking do we really need to label that certain person like that? Do we really need to go that far? And those words were for what? Critism? Sarcasm? Satisfaction? Or we might as well fill in the blank ourselves.

I mentioned 'we' due to the fact that on certain circumstances, I might be among that kind of person, regretfully, judging people by their words, appearances, acts and etcetra.

Kak Nisa' said; Don't you ever, ever, judge people from what you see and by what you think of them. (lebih kurang begini la ayat dia I am not that sure myself)

Do you know for yourself, yang diorang ni tak berusaha untuk jadi hamba Allah yang lebih baik...? Are you sure? If yes, how sure is your sure?
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Awak tahu ke?

Kalau diorang tengah berusaha ke arah yang lebih baik, taking baby steps with them for they are too afraid to fall backwards. Awak tahu? Awak tahu ke yang dia walaupun dah bertudung labuh, masih tengah struggle upgrade tajwid bacaan al Quran dia? Tengah usaha bangun tiap malam tahajjud, upgrade solat sunat dia?

Awak tahu ke orang yang awak mengumpat tu sebenarnya tengah dalam fasa melabuhkan tudung sikit demi sikit? Awak tahu? Awak tahu ke walaupun dia free hair, dia dah pasang niat untuk bertudung?

Awak tahu ke? Awak tahu ke? Awak tahu ke? #Annoying :B
Tak, kan?
Sebab takkan diorang nak canang merata yang Allah campakkan diorang 'rasa' tu.

This was actually a head shot for me too! Because you'll never know what kind of transformation phase those people are in. Sebenarnya nak cakap semua orang dalam 'fasa berubah' masing-masing :)

Tu je.

x

Friday, November 11, 2011

I wish for a gentleman.

Bismillah.

Be a gentleman. Don't approach her, approach her wali.

I think this phrase is well encountered on Facebook, yes? I would love that to happen to every akhawat I knew. :) I wish for the man to be a coward to not come to me but instead, be brave enough to seek my wali, or preferrably my dad.

I am not perfect in every angle you might seek, neither do I think I deserve such man or even worthy to him... but at least, I wanted my future husband to ask for my hand in marriage in a proper way. For I am a girl, and I have such a delicate heart to deal with.

:)

Every akhawat should wish for the same too!

P/s: And this would happened to me in six years from now, perhaps?

Another P/s: How do you expect a building to last if the base is unstable? Don't you afraid that it might fall?

x

Just a matter of time.

Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum. Kejap, kekok pulak bila menulis balik ni. :) Mulanya, saya nak mohon maaf pada antunna, maaf, dah lama tak tunaikan hak kalian sebagai pembaca. Dua bulan menyepi, dan saya tak dapat nak berjanji untuk kembali menulis seghairah dulu.

I had a few reasons in my mind but I won't make them as an excuse to ask for forgiveness. Macam biasa, Allah lebih tahu :) Kepada yang bertanya ke mana saya mengilang, (few people really did ask me why I dared to stop writing) terima kasih kerana sudi ambil kisah. You know who you are. Kamu yang bertanya di Fesbuk, yang bertanya di YM, sungguh saya terharu.

Anyways.

Banyak benda berlaku, banyak benda yang terjadi, banyak benda yang saya alami. Kembara saya sebagai hamba Tuhan belum berhenti. The same goes to you! Selagi roh dan jasad masih bersatu, selagi tu kita bergelar khalifah di muka bumi.

Dah macam nursery rhymes dah heheh.

Saya masih dalam fatrah bercuti untuk Raya Aidil Adha tapi dah nak kepenghujung. Lusa dah mula kuliah, jadinya saya mencuri masa :) InshaAllah kalau ada kelapangan, saya akan menulis. Kalau tak ada, mungkin Allah belum kasi ilham untuk dijadikan tatapan kalian.

P/s: Jujurnya saya terluka.

X