Tuesday, September 30, 2008

zero more to go ;

yeap. hari ni last day we are fasting . x)
esok we will be raya-ing !
as the penyimpan mohor besar raja raja melayu
announced last night tomorrow will be 1 syawal lorh .
i guess dh ramai org yg balik kampung ..
but as usua
l lah ,
my family and i will be celebrating r
aya at our house.
mana taknya , kampung kat bandar.
so i never experienced nikmat desa tuu. pity me.
last night for the first time for this raya ,
i got to play with the sparks ;
as in bunga api lah. ngee :/
and i help my bonda ketatkan ketupat.
ketatkan aje. buat tk reti.
dh brtahun try buat tp still tk dpt. aduhaii,,
plus last night ,
i help my ayahanda masukkan duit raya dalam sampul.
now my mom tgh masak kuah kacang semua.
last night were pretty touchful as i get a msg from him ;')
i am so happy but in sadness as well.
why dont you let me keep the story to myself .

p/s: rahsia di hati tak siapa yang tahu ..

Monday, September 29, 2008

platonic love

the feelings i had for him is just another platonic
its there. way deep inside me .
but i could tell the feeling is getting colder and colder.
and im afraid that somehow i might loose it.
we are apart. in distance. yea. i knew that.
didnt u know, a single message wud make a difference ?
there's most of the time i kept the garfield tight
and told myself , i am okay.
and things will going to be alright. just fine.
do you know how hard it is for me ?
ouh ,i am proud to admit that i was dumb back then .
i was thorn between you and him ,
and sadly, not knowing what my heart wants,
i let myself curling the dreams of him.
and when she knocked me with her confessions,
i came to realize that i dont have any feelings towards him .
simultaneously , i realize that i had my for you .
i've been missing the stupid argument we had,
the voice of yours that kept hitting my ears ...
and not even him can take that memory of you from me.
you are the one . not him.
and awak .. for your information ,
i looked at guys soullessly nowadays
as you took my heart away.
i felt zero inside me.
and i do. i really do misses you.

p/s: awak .. ya, suara awak macho ! ;')

Friday, September 26, 2008

m e m o r y . l a n e

sometimes i just wish that things can be redone.
the things that might wrong than it seems.
the words which might hurt.
for the dearest friends that had enlightened my life ..
there is no such word can describe how thankful i am :')
the one that used to be so close but now apart ,
how cud i told you that i missed the laughter we shared together ?
to this particular someone ,
i seriously missed the moment we hold on to each other .
when i read your blog a few moments back ,
and how meaningful my name to you back then ,
i wanted to cry so bad .
you are important to me as always my dear .
i could tell you are drifting apart from me time to time .
unfortunately , the hi's and bye's seems to be so cheap .
i knew we always bumped into each other,
but how can the bumping can be compared to a little talk ?
i'll cherish our friendship in my heart forever.
because you are one of the strength of mine
in once upon a time.

p/s: miss you.

relieve

my trial has officially ended at 12.25 pm today .
hoorah . x)
some papers let me showed my strength ,
whereas some were just making me dumber ! haish.
when its over , i felt relieve. yea.
like a burden had been removed from my shoulder.
i mean , its stressful you know .
dating with books all the time. no fun .
well , it shud be that way tho.
but still , i will always love books
its my passion . my life .
ouh, mr raya is coming in.
but as our dearest principle pn maizan
said earlier in the daily assembly this morning
" ... raya seadanya sahaja "
i'll keep that close to my mind for sure.
and she said this too.
" .. raya kali ini bukan untuk kamu .. "
aduhaii . its a heartbreaking to hear that .
however, i knew she said that for our own good.
as the exam is just around the sofas ,
anxiety of libur-ing shudnt be a part of it . kan kan ?
study must be on top list of priority.

p/s: i wud like to fall in love with mr additional mathematics ;)
pp/s: today is my mom's birthday !

inilah pandanganku .. ceritaku !

Thursday, September 25, 2008

pressure

how many people can actually handle a pressure ?
based on my thinking lah kan ,
majority humans cant take pressure in their life.
bila dah emosi menguasai diri ..
tambah lagi bila tak ada iman dan pegangan hidup.
*poof* there goes your life !
ramai lah hamba ALLAH yang ambil jalan shortcut.
as in commit a suicide or lost their mind.
jangan cakap orang lainlah ..
myself pun seldomly beyond control
when i've been attacked by the unknown pressure .
not an unknown actually.
majorly from studying and doing calculations.
ahhaaha. >.< style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);" size="4">attitudes

i became aggressive , tight-face whatsoever .
unfortunately , my friends and siblings became the honourable victim
tp tak lah smpai nak tarik nyawa sendiri
astarghfirullah
how i wish i cud handle pressure efficiently
so that it does not affect my social life and stuff.
and this afternoon , i just wanted to scream out loud
as i was so stressful doing addmaths' paper
hmmmph !

p/s: hakuna matata

inilah pandanganku .. ceritaku .

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

malam 7 likur

the title seems to be cliche kan kan ,
tp as cliche as we always said lah..
the thought that count.
haiyyo .. what am i bubbling about nii -.-"
ades , raya is 7 more days to go
andd my trial ada lagi 2 days. i shud be studying.
instead , im in front of the stupid talking box - tv ..ngeh//
but kelas sastera da habis trial tadi .
so i have this BIG jealous on them .
hmmphh !!
its okay lah. i think my effort will paid off.
my brothers dh sibuk maen mercun.
tp i still take encik hakim's advices close to me.
he said that :
" kalau kamu dh pandai tulis dgn kaki kanan , kaki kiri
dan mulut .. kamu boleh main mercun "
hmm .. menusuk sampai ke ulu hati tuu. x)
ingatkan nk psang pelita kat lawn ..
tp mcm tk suitable lah pulak .
buatnya terbakar rumah , tak ke haru .
dah lah skrg dalam mood raya.
most of my friends mcm rv dh nyanyi lagu raya tadi.
ahhaha.

p/s: this entry is published due to my guiltyness-
sbb dh lama tk update blog ni.
haish.

inilah pandanganku .. ceritaku.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

feeling confusion

one question !
kenapa perasaan untuk setiap ramadhan and raya ,
bagi setiap tahun lain ..?
okay okay . maybe a bit confusing kot .
meh , i explain it. macam ni ..
last year , during ramadhan when i fast ,
the feeling i felt was more calmer and i seriously can breathe.
tp this year mcm awkward sikit and idk why .
perasaan teruja tu mcm dh terhakis.
mcm tu ke bila kita dh makin berumur ..?
the l
aughter , joyous , will fade just like that .
i hate it. i mean , w h y ?!
i still remember when im a kid ,
the excited feeling to fast and raya was amazing .
but now , i felt numb !
tepu dan tak berperasaan. haha. boleh ke?
and kesempatan utk dapat duit raya pun mcm dh lessen.
sbb apa? sbb ada perasaan malu.
the feeling is biasa .
yes , biasa .
sighs.
i wish i cud turn back the time and freeze it.
i missed old days when excitement was the priority of mine

inilah pandanganku .. ceritaku !

Sunday, September 14, 2008

kuih raya !

aduhaii.. penatnya saya !
lenguh tangan dan tengkuk dok menguli tepung.
tolong umi tadi. hee:DD
hmm.. hari ni sempat buat kuih dahlia dann mama carey.
haha. entah betul entah tak ejaan tuu , kan !
klau tk dikira puasa, mahu je saya sumbat kuih - kuih tu.
haish. ada ke patut.
nauzzubillah minzaliq :)
maybe dh tk ramai org yg buat kuih sendiri nowadays.
almaklumlah ,
kuih tunjuk skrg ni lg popular !
tp mcm hilang nikmat raya rasanya ..
if my family didnt do this tradition.
its somehow like a legacy .
lumrah org hidup di kota ,
semua nk cepat. nak express. tk gitu ?
yg tk sedap ke, sedap ke,
semua dia balun.
saya harap tahun ni abah saya buat lagi daging siat.
kalau beli , ada aje komen dia nanti.
rasa masin lah. pedas lah.
abah saya tu sensitif sikit soal makanan ni.
lidah dia ada sixth sense.
maafkan anakandamu ini ya abah..
sbb sok sek psal abah kat blog ni. eheh;)
apa apa pun, tahun ni saya nk pasang pelita kat lawn.
rumah baru , perasaan pun mesti baru.
toodles ~

inilah pandanganku .. ceritaku !

Monday, September 8, 2008

e x a m i n a t i o n

can u find anyone that actually love exam?
huh, i'll bet no one wud raise a hand for that.
ouh ouh , count me in ! haha.
that's why malaysians always been said to have the
third level mentality.
well .. i am off the word
okay.
i learned that in karangan. bm's by encik ahmad kamal.
hmm ,, exam is actually the best way a student can be test.
the knowledge , the basic ..
it seems to be hard.
plus .. everyone assumed it to be that way .
no one should be blamed though .
but .. if you prepared well enough ,
it shouldnt be that hard should it?
*shrug*
this past few weeks, exams seem to already united
with my blood and vein . haha. as if .
keep on dreaming , nuha ! :)
but it partially true though.
as the spm is just around the corner ,
the trial and the exercises is like a pile of books in the lib !
hm .. maybe we shouldnt be too hard on exam. kot.
just play along and we will get used to it i guess.
i mean, as malaysians, we cant run away from examinations,
since it is part of the perlembagaan or
somehow department of education whatsoever.
calm down and take a breathe.
yea , thats the way .
im gonna enjoying every minute being in the exam hall.
you should too. or not. :D

inilah pandanganku .. ceritaku !

Sunday, September 7, 2008

teacher

its actually a noble work you knw..
i mean, u ought to have lots of patient. mark my words.
lots !
anyone can be a teacher but not anybody can be a great one.
my mom is a teacher. :)
and to me, she's one of the best.fullstops.
within teaching, compiling works and handling student behavior,
as well as her own bulk of offspring,
teacher is a person that you should show some respect.
bak kata this one sarjana ,
he also assumed someone who teaches him a single word ,,
as a teacher.
and my mom once said that :
"kita akan dapat pahala dgn hnya memandang wajah guru"
so.. can u see the point?
however, nowadays its a bit heartbreaking
since my friends seems to be lack of that value.
well , i also did something ...
like not finishing up my homework and blah blah
one attitude of them is that..
they are calling teacher with just their name.
like instead of cikgu shazan [ bukan nama sebenar ],
they were calling him shazan.
exp: "shazan datang woi !"
i wanted to tegur tp.. *sighs*
im not that tough.
i mean, is it hard enough for you guys
to call them with puan, teacher or even cikgu...?
its rather sad hearing my friends did that.
hello ! show some respect pls.
and as i was going to sit for trial SPM tomorrow,
i hereby, like to thank all my teachers..
esp cik lahazmani ( u knw what u did ) ,
im hoping that all the teachers will 'halal'-ing their ilmu
and prays for my success.

inilah pandanganku ... ceritaku !

Saturday, September 6, 2008

sekadar mengingatkan

that's right.
this entry is just another reminder lah kan .
as human, we have to saling mengingatkan between each other.
i cant remember where i read this.
but i can tell u its scary !
hm.. in that book, it states that
tnda2 besar the appearance of imam mahadi is when
there is this pertengkaran yang amat hebat
antara jemaah jemaah yg sedang mengerjakan haji.
this situation will happen at jamratul aqabah.
this argument will eventually lead to
somehow like pertumpahan darah...
and ramai yang akan terkorban.
and thats when the imam mahadi will appeared.
to me, tht situation mcm horror sangat
sbb melibatkn darah.
and then masa they are in the mid of perform hajj.
*speechless*
puncanya tk pulak diketahui.
again, to me, dh bnyak sbnarnya signs kehancuran manusia.
but well.. its between kita tk sedar, tk prnah sedar
or pretend not to be one.

inilah pandanganku ... ceritaku !

happy fasting !

when i thought its now fasting months ,
out of the blue , lots of things came to cross my mind ...
especially about peoples behavior.
well ,, mine as well. kot! :)
as i said earlier, man and mistakes are like irama dan lagu.
during this holy month, we should be taking advantage
for the absence of the devils.
hmm,, but lots of people seems to be lost. *shrug*
on the night before fasting day,
muslims were supposed to be doing solat terawih.
and i did went with my family. tp i did 8 rakaat je. standard lah kan !
after perform the solah, my mom wanted to have roti canai for supper.
so we went to the mamak stall ,
and i bumped into a group of adolescent
particularly boyfie and girlfie lah kot.
since they were tugged to each other like a current carrying conductor!
first word ?
astargfirullah hal 'azim
first thing ?
they absolutely didnt went for solat terawih.
instead, they did a sin in the night before fasting.
i was like... apa yang telah terjadi !
im not saying that im good or alim or even warak
and to be fair,
i also did something yg i cant be proud of
ramadhan brings a lot of kemaslahatan
to whom who appreciate its present.
plus the malam lailatul qadar.
the night that is better than 1000 months !
entahlah.
mungkin betul, kita sedang berada di akhir zaman
dan maksiat berleluasa tnpa dapat dikawal.
and trust me my friend,
its the early bell for the hari kiamat.

inilah pandanganku ... ceritaku !

.l i f e.

life is short.
that phrase seems to be so cliche kan ..?
but it also seems to be damn true.
we will never be alive forever.
kematian itu adalah pasti bagi setiap makhluk yang bernyawa.
including animals . plants . etc .
but how much effort did we put on
to make our life meaningful and as a journey to remember ?
as i learn in tasawwur islam ,
this world is only a pit stop before going to the after world.
did we make enough preparation ?
i dont think i do.
our amalan fardu, amalan sunat .
as a human , kekhilafan itu adalah kemestian.
bumi mana yang tak ditimpa hujan right ?
tapi .. somehow what i've done is unforgiven by myself.
entahlah. *sighs*
i wish i cud unrewind the time.
insyaALLAH, Dia yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani
akan sentiasa membuka pintu taubat buat kita ,
hamba-Nya.
this alert is meant for myself and the others..
berubahlah because the best key to your guidance
is yourself.
amiin//

inilah pandanganku ... ceritaku !

Friday, September 5, 2008

new blog

yeaa ,,
this is my new blog okayy .
this blog wud not be involving feelings and emotions.
i mean,, the lovy-duvy part wud be lessen
as u can see ,
the title of this blog is
pandanganku ceritaku.
which means, this blog will be full of my thoughts about
my surrounding.
which is more to nature and current issue.
in english, the title wud be...
my view my story
andd p.s:
no one can condemn me about my writing here
since its my blog, my view and my story !
enjoy reading. (: